Thursday, December 04, 2008

If Sirasa TV is Allowed Sending a Reporter to the Northern War Front…

UNP parliamentarian Lakshman Seneviratne speaking in the parliament today, questioned the government; “why Sirasa TV is not allowed to send a reporter to the war front, for bring 

independence reports from the military operation?” He said, Rupavahini and ITN are having reporters working with the forces in action, but the common public do not trust those two channels any more. According to him, Sirasa TV is a better reputed channel among the public, so it is not fair for not allowing to have one of their own reporters in the war frontier.

Listening to his comments, I tried to visualize what could be the situation if Sirasa TV allowed sending their own reporter to the war front, and send back live reports.

Scene # 1

“Await. Next, Sirasa TV War First. March to Killinochchi. Brought to you by Saw kichi kichi bola saban”

[A series of commercials] 

Then, the reporter starts to speak, with the war action going on in the backdrop. He go close to a soldier, who lie down on the ground and shooting at the enemy. 

Reporter ask “Malli ta me welawe monwada hithenne. Mona wage hengeemak da ethi wenne?”

The soldier turn to the reporter and say “Mata thowa mara gena kanna hithenawa yako!”. 

The reporter turn back and go to another soldier, and ask “Malli kemathima sinduwa mokakda? Apita puluwan Diganthaya program eke malli ge illeema pracharaya karanna”

The soldier says “Mage ekama illeema ara kaala kanni Ran Depaya nawaththala daanna kiyana eka”.

 Scene # 2

The reporter goes to a camping site, where the army commanders are discussing about their strategy for next few days. They talk about how to approach the enemy terrain, without letting them even sensing and dispose a surprise attack on the enemy front line, and destroy a bunker base where tiger leader is suspected to be hiding in. 

Commander notice the Sirasa reporter is also sitting among his troops, and ask “What are you doing here?”. 

Reporter replies “I am from Sirasa. I am a reporter”. 

Then the commander asks “Who let you to come here? This is suppose to be military secret”.

 The reporter says “I am a media person. I have a right to go and be in anywhere in this country, and report anything that happen in this country”. 

The army man asks “Who gave you such an authority? God Almighty?”. Reporter says “No. Sunanda Deshapriya gave it to me. He’s the God Father”.

 The army commander does not say anything. But he thought to himself “So, why don’t you go to Prabha’s bunker and, report what’s happening there?. Isn’t that a part of this country?” 

Scene # 3

 Suddenly on the Sirasa TV we see an interruption to the normal Ran Depaya programs. A breaking news is coming in!!!

 “Here’s a breaking news on Sirasa News First. 57th Division of Sri Lanka army and the Sri Lanka Air Force are going to conduct a joint attack targeting the secret bunker base where tiger leader is hiding in. The Air Force will launch an air strike, tomorrow morning at 6.00am, targeting this bunker base. Then, at exactly 7.12am, the army will start marching towards the bunker, before the tiger leader escape from their. Stay tuned to Sirasa News First, to get the latest news from the Killinochchi war front. We are the first to bring you this news, and no one else can beat us! We are the first, and we are the best. All the rest are behind us” [News anchor, continue the usual boasting]

Meanwhile in the secret bunker base; tiger leader is watching Ran Depaya. And we all know, Prabhakaran is a great fan of Mahagedara. He thank his favorite channel for breaking this news, and immediately change his hiding location.


Ok! All these things might not sound real for you, but couldn’t this be the logical reason why the government should not allow Sirasa in the war front?  What else funny things could Sirasa do? An SMS contest to win gold chains worth 1 million?

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3 People Had Something to Say about this post. Read them and add your thoughts....

Chanaka Aruna Munasinghe said...

Nice Idea .
LOL.
Good one

deco said...

nice anology

sanjan said...

Well said man! This is a good one. You need to put this up somewhere popular among sri lankans.

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